I would love to love you
by MyWorldDoesn'tEnd
Summary: Maybe life is not about the happy ending, maybe its just about the story. The twist, the turns, the love and the loss...
1. I close my eyes

I would love to love you

My names Kathrine Lori Hill, but everyone calls me Kat. I'm seventeen, 5'6, with a fit figure and the right curves in the right places, dark red hair that curls to my elbows, and light grey eyes. My skin is light copper from the native American on my father's side of the family.

I spent the first 16 years of my life living with my father and younger brother in La Push, Washington. My Mum died from cancer when I was 10. I had to be strong for my dad, and Max who was only six at the time of our mother's death.

I managed to get dad off to work at the timber yard every day, get Max to school, myself to school with my grades never dropping below a B. I kept the house in order, clothes clean, food in the fridge and on the table, every night. Mum always told me that a woman is meant to do everything and make it look like nothing.

It got too much for me sometimes but I would never let my Dad, or Max see me break down, no, I was their rock. There was only one guy that would ever see me cry and yell hell to the world on bad days. That lucky guy was Embry Call, my rock.

Embry and I were childhood friends, his mother and mine were best of friends and we were the same age - literally we were born only six hours apart - so we were always stuck together. Embry was the nicest, most caring, and funny guy you could imagine. After my Mum died I spent the whole day sobbing in his arms, and anytime things got too hard I would go find his arms to cry in.

When we were 14 Embry and I finally said we like-liked each other and we became girlfriend and boyfriend - the perfect couple our friends called us. We were in love, _were,_ all the good things I have to say about Embry are in past tense, I haven't even seen him in almost two years.

It was just past our 16th birthday and Embry said we were over, just like that he didn't what to see me again, and the bastard did it by text too. Embry had been sick the week before and I was worried out of my mind when I wasn't allowed to see him, I think he was faking it to not have to see me. After that short four-word text, I locked myself in my room and cried my heart out, I refused to go to school, to eat, I didn't even what to sleep because all I saw when I closed my eyes was Embry's face.

My Dad was beside himself with worry, I was his rock, and I was shattered into dust. After three weeks and two trips to the hospital for dehydration, I couldn't do it anymore, the pain was too much. I slit my wrist hoping to end the awful pain, and I almost succeeded, but Max came home from school early and found me in enough time to call for help and of course I lived or you wouldn't be reading this now.

When I woke up in the hospitable and saw my Dad and baby brother crying at my bedside like I was already dead, was my wake-up call. I got Dad to send me over to England to live with my mother's older sister Kelly, her husband Dan and their four children. A change of scenery, to get out of this place will do me good, I told Dad… and myself.

So, that's where I've been for the last… 531 days. I never got back to being the Kat I was when I had Embry; but I found a new part of me and built myself up again. I made sure not to get my heart broken again by never getting serious with a guy, one night, maybe two, if they were lucky.

I finish my schooling a month ago at the top of my grade. I had offers from colleges coming from all over the place but I declined them all. I don't need a big degree to tell me what I what to do in life. I know what I want. I want to go home, get a house close to the water, get a simple job and then just grow old by the sea, _alone._

So here I am, staring out the window on a plane to Seattle, and going home… home.

 _ **#HI! I know I shouldn't be starting another story when I am having trouble updating the ones I already have but I cant help it. I have posted this story once before and got good feed back but I took it down to get it spellchecked and fix some lose ends.#**_

 _ **#FOR A SNECK PEAK OF THE NEX CHAPTER PLEASE REVIWE, and the SNECK PEAK will be waiting in your PM's with in 24 hours#**_

 _ **#Thanks for reading - hope to be updating soon - have a nice day/night!#**_


	2. A shiver runs through me

I would love to love you

Being a morning person has its bright side and dark side. The dark side, I can't - no matter how tired I am - roll over and go back to sleep. Bright side - once I give up on wanting to sleep in - I make breakfast. So, it's not really a bright side for me but the smiles on Max and Dad's faces as they dig into their plates of pancakes, cream, and fruit is worth it.

Dad picked me up from the airport at seven last night and by the time we got home it was after eleven so I called it a night after a quick hug and 'missed you' from Max. It felt weird being back in my childhood home. But it's home and I don't think theirs anywhere I'd rather be… That is after I clean it up. It looks like the guys tried to clean the place up but I think throwing away the takeaway food boxes, and putting all the clothes in the laundry room was as far as they got. There is dirt, and dust everywhere, the bare minion in the fridge and the cupboard has berley a can of beans.

I wash up the dishes in the sink, seeing the dishwasher was stocked with dirty dishes, good try guys. "Got any plans for the day, Kat?" Dad asks from the other side of the kitchen, as he takes a seat at the dining table and puts on his old steel toed boots.

"Might do a bit of dusting… you still keep the leaf blower in the garage, right?" I smile over my shoulder.

"God I can't say how much I missed your jokes, Kat," Dad says shaking his head with a light chuckle. "And no, for a matter of fact, I got to cleaning the shed out back so the garage is only for cars and tools now."

"Is that true?" I ask remembering the horrendous, metal nightmare that was the carless garage to the left of the two-storied white weatherboard house.

"Don't be too proud of him," Max snickers, entering the kitchen in jeans, a tattered black shirt, and old sneakers with his green school bag in one hand and skateboard in the other. "I found a snake in there last summer when I was looking for a screwdriver and Sue heard of how I barely escaped with my life and got half the town to help with cleaning it all out."

"The boy's overplaying it, the snake wasn't even poisonous," Dad says standing from his chair.

"Well now, what am I supposed to use to clean the mice out of that sty you call a room," I playfully grin at Max.

"Hey-" Dad cuts off Max's response.

"Yeah, Max. How dare you be so wasteful? Hey, Kat, if it makes you feel better I think the spiders in his room are big enough to clean out the mice."

"I don't think so, the mice found that pizza I lost last year and now they're growing like rats… maybe we should get a cat, Kat?" Max smirks at me and I shoot him a deadpan look.

"Ha-ha, you're so funny Max. Now both of you get out!" I emphasize my words by pointing to the door.

"I thought it was funny," Max grumbles on his way out the front door.

"Don't work too hard today, kiddo. Oh, and if you need money for groceries. I keep it in-"

"The cowboy hat in the top of the coat cupboard," I guessed, placing the last dish on the drying rack and leaning back on the kitchen bench.

"You knew?" he asks with surprise.

"You don't wear cowboy hats, Dad," I smile as his face turns sheepish. "And what makes you think I'm doing the grocery shopping?"

"You're just like your mother, Kat," Dad smiles on his way out the door.

"…That's not an answer!" I call after him but get the rev of an engine in response. "Yeah that's right, drive away," I mutter to myself. I huff and look around wondering where I should start, I decide music will make this easier so I plug my IPhone into the stereo and turn the tunes up high, Poker Face is first on.

I start with the living room, a once life field place with a large blue and yellow striped lounge and two blue arm chairs sit on a brown shag rug, facing a small flat screen TV that sits above the out of work fireplace. I dance my way around the room opening up all the curtains and a few of the full-length windows to fill the room with cloudy daylight and a gust of fresh air.

I clap all the pillows out the window and flip the cushions, collecting a dollar's worth of change, a yo-yo, TV remote, and a few empty packets of chips from under the cushions. I had a garbage bag at the ready and did a small emu paraded around the room picking up pieces of plastic, soda caps, and a few straws. I drag the old matt out onto the deck and wonder what happened to the coffee table that use to sit on it.

I slip around the ground floor on my bed socks with a broom and sweep the dark wood floor, ending with quite the dust bunny. I beat the living room matt over the railing before allowing it back onto my clean floor. I find myself singing with Adal on Hello as I straighten and dust the family pitchers on the hall walls and up the windy staircase.

I try to keep my tune happy as I pot on the first of many loads of dirty laundry. I go back to the kitchen after I worked out how to use the washing machine. Now, don't laugh, I haven't used something that old since I told my driving instructor I was a single mother of twins. Thank god, Kelly's oldest son Jeff let me borrow his kids for the day. I started the dishwasher, then start making a list on what I need from the shops… _Everything_.

The one stop shop is like a thirty second walk from the end of the driveway so I grab two hundred from the cowboy hat and slip into some of my old joggers. I'm wearing jeans and a grey, long-sleeved V-neck; so I call myself good enough to been seen by human eyes.

...

Nothing at the one stop shop has changed, still jammed full with everything but the kitchen sink; or maybe I just missed that row. I make sure not to get to much, knowing I have to carry it home. I get a few dishcloths and sprays for when I try to clean the bathrooms, some energy bares, coffee, milk, eggs, bread, and some apples. I will make another trip back later to get something for dinner and real food for the boys to take with them for lunch.

I make short talk with the old lady behind the register before paying and being on my way. I was so focused on watching my step down the shop front stares that I walk straight into someone. "Oh sorry…" A shiver runs through me when hearing the voice. I look up, and there he stood. The one and only, Embry Call. I don't know what seeing him makes me feel, a mixture between wanting to scream at him or run home and hide in my bed. But all I can do is stare at him as small tears form in the corners of my eyes, and whisper his name.

 _ **#Hey, hey, hey! I update sooner then I thought I would, so yay! I know the middle of it was a bit of a filler but I think the next chapter will make up for that... when I get to writing it. I do have a chapter 2 written but I have new plans for this story so I'm pros going to just scrap that and start new.#**_

 _ **#Thanks for the support, please keep it up, really helps me keep writing."**_

 _ **#Thanks for reading - hope to be updating soon - have a nice day/night!#**_


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